a glimmer of hope
hello!
Hope is something you have to actively hold onto, it can not sustain you if you do not nurture it. Hope has to be held with great conviction and strength , because sometimes that hope is the only thing keeping you from giving up. Some days you don't have the strength to hold hope with such conviction and those days are the worst.
In order for anyone to remain hopeful it must come from within. It is only you that can hold on until this pain ends. Sometimes this responsibility of sorts becomes too much and my hope fades, just like it would for a lot of people in difficult periods of there life.
I had one of those days today. I was sat in the local square where I had slumped on a bench, heart wrenching and tears streaming. I had just had a difficult therapy session where I felt my struggles were invalidated and feared that life would never be ok. For the first time in a while I thought for a second that maybe this life isn't for me, maybe I just wasn't cut out for this world we live in. My hope was fading.
3 hours later I was home, showered and rested and in fresh comfy clothes. Somehow and Somewhere a part of me knew that in order for me to remain safe and to get through this tough day I had to not be present. For the first time in my journey I felt like my parts/alters were trying to look after me and keep me safe. In essence that was the reason for them developing, however, for many years it has felt like a hinderance, a punishment and something I must get rid of asap.
On reflection of my day I am thankful for my parts I am thankful that when my hope fades and my strength lessens there is someone inside of me that can pick up these broken pieces and look after them until I am ready again.
In a way I am my own glimmer of hope.
Hope is something you have to actively hold onto, it can not sustain you if you do not nurture it. Hope has to be held with great conviction and strength , because sometimes that hope is the only thing keeping you from giving up. Some days you don't have the strength to hold hope with such conviction and those days are the worst.
In order for anyone to remain hopeful it must come from within. It is only you that can hold on until this pain ends. Sometimes this responsibility of sorts becomes too much and my hope fades, just like it would for a lot of people in difficult periods of there life.
I had one of those days today. I was sat in the local square where I had slumped on a bench, heart wrenching and tears streaming. I had just had a difficult therapy session where I felt my struggles were invalidated and feared that life would never be ok. For the first time in a while I thought for a second that maybe this life isn't for me, maybe I just wasn't cut out for this world we live in. My hope was fading.
3 hours later I was home, showered and rested and in fresh comfy clothes. Somehow and Somewhere a part of me knew that in order for me to remain safe and to get through this tough day I had to not be present. For the first time in my journey I felt like my parts/alters were trying to look after me and keep me safe. In essence that was the reason for them developing, however, for many years it has felt like a hinderance, a punishment and something I must get rid of asap.
On reflection of my day I am thankful for my parts I am thankful that when my hope fades and my strength lessens there is someone inside of me that can pick up these broken pieces and look after them until I am ready again.
In a way I am my own glimmer of hope.
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