How to support your alters

Hello 

When I was told that in order to start healing and learning to live with DID that I must accept and support my alters, to become friends with them of sorts. A terrifying reality that I had to come to terms with. For the first 3 years after my diagnosis I did all I could to ignore my alters needs and refuse to acknowledge they really existed - this only made things worse and encouraged my parts to act out. Look at it this way….

If a parent was ignoring their Childs needs and wants, and refusing to listen to the things they said that poor child would begin to demand more, shout louder and cry out for more and more attention - after all good attention or bad attention is all the same in that childs eyes. 

In order to help yourself, you need to help all of you.

1. Purchase things that your other parts want/need to make them feel more comfortable when they are around.                                                                           For example C wanted play doh so he could make dinosaurs and farms - I didn’t want to be seen buying play doh as I was convinced everyone would know I had these other people living in my head. The result? Those dinosaurs and farm yard animals ended up being drawn on my bedroom wall. 

2. Acknowledge and try to understand their difficulties.                                                    J, although appearing strong and defiant she is incredibly vulnerable and struggles with self harm. When I would wake up with injuries I would be furious and hateful towards J for hurting me and wonder why she hated me so much. I labelled her “the bad part” and things only got worse as she began to act out because I had diminished and ignored her difficulties. Instead I now try to react with care and understanding, and take on board how much she must be hurting. 

3. Don’t try to wish them away and ignore the work they do.                                             If your brain had not developed this incredible coping mechanism (although it may not seem incredible at times) it is more than likely you would not be here today. Sometimes it may seem that this disorder only brings chaos and pain to your life, however this disorder has in fact helped you to lesson the chaos and pain you experienced.