a day in my life.

hello!

Most peoples day to day lives can be pretty repetitive at times. You have breakfast, walk/drive to work, have lunch, come home, maybe read, prepare dinner and settle down for the night. The next morning comes and you do the same thing again and again.

Where I am in the process of learning to manage and live life with dissociative identity disorder its virtually impossible to have the same day twice,with a perfectly mapped out routine. Heres a little insight into what it can be like on an average day in my life, there are certain precautions risks and measures I have to consider and put into practice every day to keep myself safe, although tedious at times its something I have to do and am slowly getting used to it.

7am - get ready for college. When packing my college bag (or any bag for that matter)  I have to have a certain compartment that is home to the most random and sometimes peculiar things you could imagine. Currently there is a purple stone - a gift from my previous therapist, a reminder for my self to stay grounded and to put into practice all the things she taught me. A small toy dog, cream in colour with his tongue sticking out. The only thing known to mankind that can calm my youngest of alters, who lives in a constant state of terror and distress. A bright blue tub of play-doh, for any dinosaur making that may happen when I'm not present.

8am - Leave for college. Hope that I have remembered everything and that no alter has decided to take things out of my bag when I wasn't around. On a very bad day, I have to fight the internal chatter and conflict from a teenage alter who is filled with pain and anger and can sometimes become suicidal. I must ignore her begs and pleads and suggestions of how to end my life all before 9am.

9am - start college

3pm - finish college and head home.

4pm - look through college note books to find out if there was any time during the day I wasn't around and hope that an alter had helped write notes and collect any hand outs and important notices during class. Also hope that none of my friends in class have thought I was weird or been concerned about my varying possible 'mood swings' when in fact an alter has been present.

8pm - My evening may have disappeared, I lost time and wasn't present. I must look through my phone, my belongings and journals to see who has been around and what they have been doing - a real life game of Cluedo.

10pm - finally after what seems like a year or sometimes just a few hours ( times a funny concept with DID) I fall into bed and wish for a blissful nights sleep with no horrors and nightmares.